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Showing posts from August, 2025

EA Made My Dream Skate Game, But You Will Probably Hate It

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  I’m rolling down the streets of San Vansterdam doing pop-shuvits and nosegrinding benches when I stumble across one of the larger skate parks in the area. It has numerous ramps, rails and even a loop-de-loo, the top of which is missing. However, what catches my eye isn’t any of that. It is a group of about 6 to 7 other players leaping off a nearby building rooftop and cavemaning into a ramp, rocketing themselves into the sky going off a nearby quarter pipe. When in Rome, right? I join them as more players gather, but a few minutes later, one of the players spawns a rail right next to the ramp everyone is cavemaning onto. Then, they spawn another and another until they have made this ludicrously long rail, probably 100 metres long. So now the unwritten challenge has changed to ‘how far can you grind this rail going 1000 kilometres an hour?’ Skater after skater tries, but it’s more difficult than it sounds because rails aren’t connected, so you gotta do little ollies between the ra...