Halo On PlayStation Means the End Times, The Simpsons in Fortnite And Impressions on What I’ve Been Playing

It's been about six months since I started this blog, and while I did intend it to be just a place to write down my thoughts and feelings on stupid stuff that no one would read, I have had people reading it based on my page views. It's not gonna make me a millionaire it does show people do care about what I say, and that feels nice. So here's to you, anonymous reader. If I have bad opinions, please do not tell me; I already know.

Halo Remake: Profit Margins Evolved

Everyone thought it was going to happen. The trend of formerly exclusive Xbox titles, such as Forza and Gears of War, being ported to PlayStation made it seem inevitable and a foregone conclusion, but it was still surprising to see it happen: A Halo game is coming to PlayStation. An absolutely confounding sentence to type, but it doesn't make it any less true.

Halo: Campaign Evolved is not only coming to PlayStation 5, but from what I can tell, it is coming day and date with the PC and Xbox versions, which is an even more outlandish statement. Sure, Microsoft had done same-day releases before, but there was always a caveat next to it. "Oh Doom: The Dark Ages is technically a Bethesda game" or "Gears of War: Reloaded is just an upgraded port", but this is a completely original...ish game from THE Xbox franchise coming out on both PlayStation 5 and Xbox Series X/S. Microsoft had finally crossed that line from becoming a platform holder to a third-party publisher. The only difference between this compared to Atari and Sega is that they're also putting out hardware on the side.

This change in policy leaves us with numerous questions regarding Microsoft's spot in the console space. They can go on and on about how exclusive games don't really matter and that they don't sell consoles. They might have metrics to back that up, but for some reason, they don't want to share with the rest of the class. All I can say is this: I did not buy a PlayStation 5 so I could have a second console to play Fortnite on, I bought it to play Spiderman 2, Final Fantasy XVI and Death Stranding 2. I bought an Xbox One to play Dead Rising 3, I bought an Xbox 360 to play Oblivion, and I bought an Xbox to play Halo. Console exclusives were always the only reason I bought a console, and if you take that away, then you take away the only reason to buy said console. I don't think Microsoft is completely getting out of the hardware business, but it is clear that they are focusing on publishing.

How about we stop talking about how Microsoft is messing up their hardware and start talking about how Microsoft is messing up their software. I know I just said Microsoft was focusing on publishing but based on what they have shown, I don't think they're focusing on it too much. Alongside the headline 'Halo comes to PlayStation' comes a "new" Halo game, which is really just an old Halo game. Halo: Campaign Evolved comes to us from what I might actually say is the worst first-party studio today: Halo Studios (formerly 343i). Just from the name itself come two major problems. Firstly, it's a stupid name. I know you can't call it Halo: Anniversary since that was the name of the last Halo remake, but still, 'Campaign Evolved' sounds like a mod for the original 2003 PC version. Secondly, it brings up front and center its biggest failing as a remake: the lack of multiplayer. This is purely the single-player campaign with online co-op. Zero competitive multiplayer at all, which was a fundamental feature of the original Halo and for seemingly no reason, it is just gone from this remake.

What they have shown us has given me little faith in the product. So far, their biggest marketing push is that it's Halo on Unreal Engine 5, and yeah, it looks nice, but it also looks completely soulless. Over the last decade, there has been this trend of YouTube videos where people take assets from other games, port them to Unreal and show them off in a showcase. The title will be something like 'Ocarina of Time Remake in Unreal Engine 2025', and it looks like ported dev assets with generic assets mixed in to give the impression of it being what an actual remake might look like. They always looked like shit, but I guess I did not give them enough credit because Campaign Evolved looks exactly like that. It looks like an amateur Unreal Engine demo for YouTube. The Oblivion Remaster had a similar issue, but it fit better because of the more generic fantasy setting; this just completely misses the mark. Switching engine comes off more as a business decision than an artistic one, and seeing how Halo Studios tears through staff, I am not surprised. I'll play this because I am an idiot, but I am keeping my expectations on the ground floor.

The Simpsons Are In Fortnite, And I Want A Milhouse Skin So Bad

In a continuing effort to ensure I have no money, The Simpsons has not only come to Fortnite but will be the focus of the entire season. I haven’t been this into a Fortnite season all year, and of course, I maxed out the Battle Pass within the week. So yeah, I am already rocking Homer Simpson.

I must say, though, I am incredibly impressed by how much love and attention to detail Epic has placed into the new Springfield Fortnite map. You’ve got iconic landmarks like the Simpsons' house, Moe’s Tavern, the Nuclear Power Plant and Mr Burns’ Mansion. But even within these locations, it is just stuffed with references and Easter eggs. For example, the Simpsons’ house has tiny little pig hoof prints on the ceiling from the movie, Principal Skinner’s house has a ruined roast still in the oven, Jebediah Springfield’s head can be knocked off, and perhaps my favourite being the Reboot Van in Springfield Gorge is crashed into the same tree the ambulance crashed into in the show.

The only real problem this season has is that there are so many characters I want to see that it would be impossible to get to them all. There are at least 5 Simpsons characters that would be instant buys from me. I would buy the next 10 seasons if Epic gave me a Milhouse skin. Alas, the only skins we have in the game right now are Marge, Homer, Krusty, Bart and at some point Lisa.

This season has also brought up something I didn’t think was possible in today’s age but this confirmed it: you could absolutely make a new Simpsons game and have it be successful. Based on the rising player count and general discussions online, it is clear that The Simpsons, despite peaking literally decades ago, still has a hold on the population. Someone should absolutely make a new AAA Simpsons game in the mould of what Epic has done.

But what I actually want is a rerelease of 'Road Rage' and 'Hit and Run'. That would be good too.

I Played Too Many Video Games And Now You Have To Hear About It

I've been playing a lot of recent and recent-ish releases as of late, and instead of dedicated blog posts for each of them, I thought I'd give my general thoughts here. Here are my thoughts on what I have been playing over the last couple of weeks.

The Outer Worlds 2

This has been my main game of choice over the last week. Outer Worlds 1 was one of my top ten games of that year, and my main praise was that it was a truncated version of a Bethesda game. As much as I love Elder Scrolls and Fallout, they are very long games and not everything is high-tier quality. Outer Worlds 1 was (theoretically) all killer, no filler and Outer Worlds 2 tries to continue that game design philosophy. While I do think 2 is a smidge better than 1, it is not better in every aspect. While the writing scene-to-scene is often engaging and funny, the overall narrative is somewhat weak. The general theme of the game basically boils down to 'who is worse: fascist religious zealots or moralless corporate capitalists'. Definitely a 'whoever wins, we lose' scenario, which makes having to pick a side annoying when you find both factions suck. At least they toned down the social commentary on capitalism from the first game, which, as a beaten horse, was nothing but goo by the end. I would still recommend Outer Worlds 2 if you're just looking for a nice RPG to sink into.

The Seance of Blake Manor

Based on the recommendation of one Danny O'Dywer, I have been giving The Seance of Blake Manor a go, which is basically an open-ended detective game set in 19th-century Ireland. What makes Seance different from most detective games is that each line of investigation is completely up to the player. It doesn't follow a linear structure compared to something like LA Noire, but more closer to a logic game like Obra Dinn or the Golden Idol games. You wander around Blake Manor, talking to witnesses, collecting evidence or just learning about the manor. It allows you to make your own deductive reasoning, and usually, the game will allow you to follow it. But if you ever get stuck, the game does include extensive notes and a quest system if you feel like you've hit a wall. However, my biggest problem with the game is the inclusion of the supernatural. Now, I'm not going to get into spoilers about exactly what caused me to lose interest, but for me, it is one of my biggest deal-breakers in detective fiction. Great detective fiction is based on logic and rules, so when you introduce supernatural elements to it, then all those logic and rules can be ignored, and that to me is the greatest sin detective fiction can commit. It's the same reason why the introduction of time travel more or less ruins any media. I'm not saying Seance is a bad game for introducing that, but to me, it loses all of its grip on me so much that I haven't really touched it in over a week. I'm sure once I finish Outer Worlds 2, I'll get back to it, but I thought this was going to be something I finished in a weekend, and it turned into something that I might finish if I get time.

Battlefield 6

I am a hypocrite; I will accept that. I told myself I wasn't going to buy Battlefield 6 due to the Saudi deal, but my friend group was pestering me about it since I promised them months ago I'd play with them. So I bought it and it's... okay? The single-player campaign might be the worst thing I've played this year, but no one cares about the single player in a Battlefield game, right? Multiplayer is pretty good, but not blowing me away. It is basically Battlefield 4 multiplayer again, which is what most people wanted, I guess. Looks nice, runs nice, plays nice. I wish there were a bit more variety in game modes, but I should consider myself lucky that people play something other than Conquest (bleh). Outside the game is a different story. The unlock system might be the most convoluted system I have ever seen. It's not just an XP grind, it's also achievements and medals and in-game stores and battle pass stuff. It makes Persona 5X look almost comprehensible.

BALL X PIT

I don't know about this one. Now, I am not the biggest Vampire Survivors fan, but I do like me some Vampire Survivors. This was getting enough buzz and had a novel enough concept for me to give it a try. Nothing. It just seems like a Vampire Survivor derivative. The whole ball concept is a good idea, but in execution, it's quite lacking. Vampire Survivors had all sorts of different attacks you can collect, but every upgrade I've encountered in BALL X PIT has all boiled down to 'shoot ball'. The base building is not exactly setting my world on fire either. It’s just an annoying distraction keeping me from the actual game. I’ll probably play this a few more times, but I think the time to impress me has passed.

Keeper

Hot take alert. I did not care for Keeper. What is admittedly an incredibly good-looking game is still a boring, ‘walk-through environment, solve a light puzzle’ slog that does not justify its existence. Double Fine has a knack for creating fantastical worlds marred by shallow gameplay, and this might be the worst ratio they have done. With something like Psychonauts or Brutal Legend, even if the gameplay isn’t hitting you, the strength of its characters and world often picks up the slack. Keeper has none of that, and gameplay is much more shallow than Double Fine’s worst outing. I am glad they were allowed to make this and get it out of their system because now they can focus on an actual game.